"How was your trip?"

I imagine that is a question I'll be asked a lot over the next several weeks.  Right now, the answer is, "I don't know."  There are so many aspects that I could answer from...I am still processing it all, and will be writing as I do, so I will update when I am able.  For now, suffice it to say that it was very very amazing, and very very difficult.

I am wrestling with some of the difficulties, and at times, insecurity threatens to overwhelm me.  I started to get sick when I got home, on Thursday night/Friday morning and have stayed sick since, so I am physically feeling out of it, and really unable to process the emotions and everything else.  

For now, let's focus on the really really amazing stuff...such as this beautiful woman.

Suly was 14 when I saw her last, and you can see the glimpse of the beautiful woman she will turn out to be.  The same sparkling eyes and bright smile.  She was definitely one of the highlights of my trip.  This girl loves Jesus and strives to serve Him with her life there at the orphanage.  She was brought there at 2 and has never left.  She is now 22 and employed there, with a bed and food provided for her still, in addition to a small monthly salary.  This is the best case scenario for her right now.  In a couple of days, I will share some words she wrote to me (with her permission) stating what it meant for her that I came.  I told her that people had given me money to come and asked if I could share some of what she'd written and she said I could.  I want you to know, from her, how important this trip was.

Then there is this beautiful woman.

We have both married and had kids since we saw each other last.  Jenny married a man that went down there to be a missionary and they live in a house on the farm.  They have a baby named Jacob that is a precious boy.  Another best case scenario.  Olivia and I spent quite a bit of time with her and her family, and the last full day I was there, we spent two solid hours together in the morning and walked around the orphanage and got ice cream at the store.  :)  It was a blessed time to be able to be with my friend again.

When I was there in 2004, I spent almost all of the time I was there working in the kitchen beside her and another woman, Lourdes.

Lourdes met us at the airport.  She left the orphanage 3 months ago and is living in Tegucigalpa trying to get work.  I am afraid for her, what will become of her soon.  She had found a job as a nanny but had to quit and is out in the job "market" again.  Please pray for her.  Tegus has very little opportunity.  

Tomorrow starts the plunge back into life.  I took some baby steps today and did laundry and dishes.  Soon, I will be back in the full swing of things struggling to remember the part of my heart that lives in Central America with clarity.  But I intend to fight for it this time, not let it slide like I did last time.  More on all of that later.